


Growing (flowers in my lungs)

by Hopefulwriter



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Mild Blood, Nice Eric Cartman, Pining, Swearing, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 15:05:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15731871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopefulwriter/pseuds/Hopefulwriter
Summary: Growing up was hard, especially when you find yourself coughing up flowers for an old friend





	Growing (flowers in my lungs)

**Author's Note:**

> This came together in under two days and it was a blast to write, I've always loved these sorts of tropes in fics, let me know if you have any prompts for other fics, or if you want to say anything about this one in the comments I'd love that too.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> ~ means POV change.
> 
> ********T.W slight blood**********

-

 

Eric had changed. He didn't talk to his stuffed animals, though he still cuddled up to what his mother could fix of Clyde frog. He had grown up. He didn't feel like inadvertently killing the parents of someone who had wronged him and mixing them up into chilli paste, only to feed them to their child.

People couldn't see that though. He was still the insane acting child in one way or another; he was still ‘Cartman,’ even though he was sixteen he was still called by the childhood way of referring to him by his surname, the name people had called him when he had done wrong.

But he knew had grown up when he felt feelings for someone other than himself. When he googled what it meant to be coughing up deep red rose petals and laughed in disbelief in his desk chair when he saw the search result: an actual real disease of Japanese origin called hanahaki. And after he clicked on one of the recommended sites he found that it was caused by pining after someone or unrequited love. Oh and another thing, it was, in most cases, fatal and he let out a huff of frustration that the only person he's felt more towards than just someone to hang out with is the one that's probably going to kill him. It was just his fucking luck.

He tried to think of who it could be, but all he could think of was Kyle, someone who he has a better relationship with in his view than when he was eleven. But that was only His view. He knew Kyle was the founder of the not believing Eric had changed club, if his constant suspicion was anything to go by, and Eric realised he had a snowball's chance in hell.

 

Next morning he turned up to the bus stop only met with Kenny and Stan. Kenny had ditched his old parkas a few years ago after he grew too big for them, though not by much as he was the shortest of the four of them and switched to looser hoodies but still that orange shade that Eric disliked just the same. He was stood in faded jeans with his short blonde hair flowing in the slight breeze. And then came Stan who stubbornly kept his old blue and red beanie with his raven hair tucked beneath it, blue jeans and a brown fleece coat. It really was like the town and the people in it were stuck in a time warp, he felt like he'd changed himself in more ways than anyone had, but nobody could seem to see it.

But he digressed. He was relieved as he got closer and saw that Kyle wasn't there. And was glad for the fact that he wouldn't be stuck in his presence for longer than necessary, as he could already feel the infuriating tickle of the dark petals at the back of his throat, even at the mere thought of the red head. He quickly shut his thoughts off from going any further and went to stand next to his two childhood friends.

“Hey dudes,” he greeted, trying to ignore the slight soreness at the back of his throat.

 

Unfortunately for him Kyle decided to turn up to the bus stop, even though it would have been too great for him to have a Kyle free day. no such luck for him. He appeared from Eric's left, holding onto the front of the straps of his backpack as he walked briskly towards the three, his red hair poking out from his ushanka. And once Eric thought about it his younger self would sneer in disgust at the fact that he had suddenly gained a pining related disease for Kyle of all people, red headed and Jewish at that. He was honestly quickly regretting growing out of a lot of his younger more self centred views, but he found that a lot of the ways he used to view Kyle didn't matter to him anymore.

 

If he thought that thinking about Kyle was bad then spending the day in his presence and spending lunch, --Oh, and also free period-- was growing to be hell. He tried to act normal so that it wouldn't attract suspicion and made a mental note for when he got home to look up how to get this thing removed, if he even could.

He could tell that Kyle was getting suspicious no matter how much he tried to hide it. Granted, he had to go to the toilets a couple more times than usual to dispose of the flowers that he had accumulated in tissues he had got from the cafeteria at lunch so that he could hold them up to his mouth to catch the flowers that seemed to burst from it every time a cough dislodged them. He didn't notice the green dyes watching him from a distance. 

 

“How do you get over someone,” he had decided to ask Kenny and Butters who were sitting on a bench in the corner of the playground at free period.

And Kenny huffed a laugh out of his nose and cuddled closer to the other blond. Oh yeah, there was a reason that he'd gone to them over anyone else: they were the second gay couple in the school, and thus the most experienced in the topic of queer feelings other than Tweek and Craig. But he didn't want to bother asking Craig with how standoffish he still was towards him. He wasn't going to let them know he had feelings for Kyle otherwise he knew they would tell him and he didn't want to deal with the humiliation.

“Well I wouldn't know, I normally just tell them. I don't see any point in holding that back,” Kenny replied, stroking his boyfriends hair. And Eric knew that they were a lost cause. He didn't even know what stroke of madness had spurred him to ask them in the first place. He just supposed he needed someone to reassure him that; yes, he would get over Kyle. But he knew that the flowers would probably take him first.

 

Once he got home he went straight up to his room to do some research on what he could do with the flowers once he had them. More specifically, if he could get them removed. He found that he could get them removed but they would take the feelings with them. Or he could let the disease run its course with thick vines growing around the inside of his body and flowers growing in his lungs more and more until they overcame him. And Eric realized that he didn't want to back out and get surgery; that he wanted to let whatever happened, happen naturally. And he knew it sounded insane, it was basically suicide after all but he, stupidly, liked his feelings towards Kyle more than he liked the idea to remove them all.

 

He knew he was getting worse. Day by day feeling a bit more sluggish compared to the one before. And it wasn't only the flowers increasing, it was his thoughts of Kyle too, thinking of ripping his safety blanket of a hat off and running his hands through his hair. Or sitting next to him at lunch holding his hand under the table. And the biggest one, kissing him. Eric wondered what kissing him would feel like.

He had started taking in handkerchiefs instead of relying on taking increasing amounts of tissues from lunch which were beginning to overflow too quickly. So he had just began bringing the pieces of fabric when he had had a particularly bad coughing fit. The flowers had come out of his mouth bloodied, the dark red liquid seeping into the silky petals and into the soft fabric that he knew would stain it by the time he got home. He just counted it as a small victory that no one had pulled him aside or taken him to the nurse yet.

No matter which way he lay in bed at night he could feel the flowers rattling in his lungs. And he almost wanted to cry in frustration that he just couldn't forget about the sensation enough to fall asleep, so he lay awake with Clyde frog under his arm and thought about what he was planning to do with the rest of his dwindling life.

~

Kyle had continued to ask his friends if they knew what Cartman was up to with his continually going to the bathroom and his reluctance to speak to him. The only piece of information he could manage to get was from Butters, admitting that Cartman had asked him and Kenny about how to get over someone. Kyle really didn't want a repeat performance of what happened with Heidi turner and others when they were younger so he intended to confront the brunet about what he had meant.

~ 

Even focusing his attention on anything was growing tiring, he had realised as he looked at the blackboard at the front of the class. And then he realised that he didn't need to try with school work if he was going to die anyway, that morbit thought was his last before he closed his eyes and succumbed to his lack of sleep.

He expected that Kyle wanted to ask him something with how he was eyeing him at lunch as he sat across from him. his assumption was proved right as Kyle seeked him out during free period while he sat on a vacant bench --as he didn't have much energy to waste on playing football with people anymore-- and Kyle came and sat down next to him, and in return he could feel the tickle of the petals that inhabited his throat. But before he could croak out the question of what Kyle wanted Kyle beat him to it.

“I heard from Butters that you asked him and Kenny a question,” he stated, and Eric knew that he should have never asked them in the first place as it would only come back and bite him on the ass. And, like a lot recently, he was proved right once again.  
“He told me that you asked how to get over someone,”

“That's none of your business,” he retorted, trying to shut the conversation down before the flowers spewed from his mouth and all his secrecy would be for naught.

“But it IS my business, don't you remember what happened with Heidi turner when we were young?” He snarled, righteous to the fact that he felt that he still knew Eric and his way with partners --of which he hasn't had one since back then. But he knew that he wouldn't change Kyle like he did Heidi and others those years ago as he loved Kyle more than himself, just the way that he was. He wouldn't change him if he ever got the chance to be with him in that way.

And with that thought Eric hastily pulled out a handkerchief from his bag and coughed as quietly and inconspicuously as he could and spat the flowers into the cloth which he then swiftly screwed up and slipped into his jean pocket. “Just, please, stay out of it,” he said weakly, not even having the energy for a fight which he used to love once. He used to love and thrive off of riling Kyle up, but he barely had the energy for that feeling himself.

And he went to stand up and leave but Kyle caught his arm. And a few years ago that would have earned himself a punch to the face or something similar but he just didn't have the energy to. Especially as he didn't have the time to reach into his pocket for his bloodied handkerchief and instead held his hand up to his mouth as flowers vacated it in a weak cough, then ran the back of his hand over his mouth to get rid of the blood that he could feel wetting his lip. When he lowered his hand he could feel the blood between his fingers as he bunched his hand into a loose fist feeling delicate petals rip in his grasp. He could feel concern from behind him which he didn't need or want. He'd rather have Kyle see him as his enemy until his end than pity or concern, and he withdrew his arm from the weakened hold and fled to the bathroom.

He cried over the toilet on his weak knees in the locked stall as coughing fits shook him. He thought with shame at the burden he had tried not to place on anyone, especially Kyle, having to see him hack up petals from behind his blood stained cloth.

~ 

Well, that went worse than expected Kyle thought after Cartman joged off to god knows where as Kyle sat behind thinking over the turn of events. It seemed that Cartman was ill with something. Kyle had seen him cough every now and then around school and had wondered about it. But that exchange had confirmed that Cartman had something and that might also explain his trips to the bathroom. But that didn't answer the question of who he was trying to get over. It was very un-Cartman like to ask for help with anything so it must be something big. And Kyle decided that he would keep an even closer eye on him.

~

Eric had noticed that Kyle lingered a lot more around him after the failed talk and no matter where he went there Kyle was, like a government spy snooping for intel. It was annoying and he tried everything to get away from him. But the contact that Kyle insisted with was making him worse. Whereas before he could at least get away from him but still be thinking about him, now he was always there, always thinking about him watching him intently from across the room. He could feel the beginnings of thorns digging into his insides.

He wanted to shout ‘go away!’ But that would bring more attention than it was worth.

~

“Have you noticed how Cartman has been over the last few weeks?” Kyle inquired to the lunch table while Cartman went to the bathroom for what felt like the umpteenth time that day. The only reason he hadn't followed him yet is because no matter how much he wants to he's the one trying to be the bigger person. And busting into the bathrooms only to see him pissing isn't high on his to-do list either. Supernaturalome of the table groans.

“What's with this obsession with him all of a sudden?” Stan asks, from his left.

Kyle blushes indignantly. “I'm not obsessed with him! he just doesn't seem well recently,” he admits fervently. He's not obsessed with him. He's not. But the only thing to describe what he's feeling is concerned and that somehow feels accurate.

~

Eric is waning under Kyles constant presence and feels stupid in thinking that although he can't have Kyle and probably never will it's nice that he can feel his eyes on him even if it's not the way he wants, maybe he is going a bit insane.

Whole flower heads had appeared recently and when he saw the first one he knew he was getting closer to the inevitable end, they are such an infuriating thing to get out of him once he coughs one to the back of his throat and gags as he gets them closer to being able to expel them, tears in his eyes as he retches into his own homes bathroom toilet that he was getting tired of seeing up close, with his arms bracketed weakly on the sides of the toilet seat.

He can feel the vines thorns digging into his organs more and more now.

~ 

Kyle had some revelations that he thought he would be more concerned about than he was, firstly, he had feelings for someone, lastly those feelings were for Cartman of all people and when he realised them he rolled onto his back from his previous position of his side in bed where he had lied awake for quite a while and sighed into the open air of his bedroom one word, “fuck.”

The only problem was that Cartman seemed to be getting worse with whatever sickness he had getting more gaunt and pale with each day that passes, so much so that Kyle had decided to take him to the school nurse.

~

Eric had just been idly walking through the playground to his favourite bench when he was stopped by a tug on his sleeve from behind and was so tired and weak that he stumbled just by the slight pull and turned to meet the face of the person who had almost sent him ass backwards onto the snowy ground when his weak retort died as he looked up slightly to meet Kyles eyes but quickly flicked them to the interesting seam on Kyles hoodie shoulder so he wouldn't be overtaken by the green orbs.

“I'm taking you to the nurse,” Kyle stated.

Eric's eyes widened and he froze to his spot, he really didn't want to go, especially not with Kyle, but he knew that if Kyle wanted to take him he wouldn't have the strength to physically reject and he knew Kyle probably knew that to but he wanted to dig his heels in verbally at least, “you can't do that,” he said, voice hardened.

“I can, have you seen yourself? You almost look like a corpse,” he whispered,  
concerned, and Eric hated that but he knew that Kyle would and could pick him up at this point if he really wanted to and he thought that he would rather like Kyles arms round him but instead Kyle wrapped his hand in an iron grip around his arm and if Eric didn't want his arm pulled out of its socket then he had better follow where Kyle was leading him to the nurses office.

he sat on the humiliating chair that put him in the middle of the room with Kyle watching his every move while they waited for the nurse to come in.

When the nurse came in and sat down next to him she asked if he knew what he had,  
‘Cutting to the chase,’ he though as he answered in the negative in hopes that she wouldn't be bothered to examine him but it obviously wasn't his day as she moved him to the hospital bed at the wall and asked him what symptoms he had been having, “just a little coughing, not much really,” he replied, trying everything he could to throw her off of what he knew he had and he could feel Kyles glare, as she hummed and checked down his throat and commented on how red it was and then moved to checking his glands and neck and he hid his wince as she pressed on all his sensitive spots and once she looked away for a second he could feel himself cough, splutter and gag over a rose head that was creeping up his throat and she whipped her head in his direction as he held both hands up so that he could swipe the rose head into them and could feel the stalk with thorns scrape over his tongue and the nurse pried his hands open once he bunched them together and he could hear both her and more importantly Kyle gasp in shock.

“Why did you cough up a flower head?! How Is that even possible?” Kyle asked frantically.

“It's called hanahaki disease, its to do with unrequited love and it's going to kill me,” Eric answered for him, defeat in his tone, feeling shame that the person he had gained the illness for was witnessing it.

“What do you mean you're going to die?” Kyle asked, voice swimming in disbelief.

“I'm going to die because my feelings will never be returned,” he replied, voice hoarse and quiet and the nurse left the room to give them privacy.

Kyle looked at him sitting weakly propped up on the side of the hospital bed, “why are we even sitting here then? If you know who it is then why don't we ask her,” he questioned, incredulous, and Eric flinched at the use of the word ‘her,’ and Kyle looked at him in question.

“He wouldn't feel the same way, I would know he's sitting in front of me,” he said looking up to the bright strip light on the ceiling and smiling, knowing he was going to die soon so why not admit who it was, Kyle would go back to not caring about him but hopefully stop watching him by the end of the day.

“Me? w-why didn't you tell me? I could have helped,” Kyle admitted quietly, and Eric huffed a laugh of disbelief out of his nose and coughed weakly.

“I don't need your pity help, you shouldn't have to force yourself like me just for this just get a nice girlfriend, have a nice life and have a dozen babys if you want to, I'll be gone soon anyway so just forget about me, Kay?” He said painfully, hating the idea that Kyle would be with anyone else but he had to face that reality.

“You think that I would do that for pity?” Kyle asked, sounding hurt.

“What else would it be? You like girls not guys and certainly not me,” he chuckled self deprecatingly, annoyed slightly that Kyle was dragging this simple thing out like he was.

“It would be because I want it to be,” he said, slightly angry at Eric's brush offs.

Eric had drilled it into his head that Kyle would never want him back so it was hard to believe what Kyle was saying, “are you implying what I think you are?” He asked disbelievingly, almost not wanting to let himself hope.

“Yes, I am,” he said exasperated.

Eric picked himself up on wobbly legs and walked over to where Kyle was beginning to stand and came to stand in front of him, “you're really sure?” And instead of answering the already known question he lightly wrapped his arms around Eric's shoulders and softly brought him close for the first time in a long time.

“Is this enough of an answer?” Kyle asked voice muffled by where he was resting his head on Eric's hair.

Eric made a contemplative hum, “you know, I don't think it is,” he said like the smart ass he is.

“Mm, what do you suggest?” Kyle said, his voice getting wispy and soft and Eric didn't have the chance to react because Kyle had pulled his face away from his hair and placed his hands on his jaw and turned Eric's up to his and Eric was caught by seeing his forest green eyes this close before Kyle placed his lips on Eric's and Eric closed his eyes and enjoyed the first kiss of hopefully many more.

~

Seeing Eric that frail both physically and emotionally was something Kyle would do anything to not repeat especially with the addition of the title boyfriend to their relationship and nothing made Kyle feel more guilty than finding Eric was that way only because of him so he kept an eye on Eric for a completely different reason to his previous suspicion and sat next to him at lunch, telling the others was something he'd let Eric take his time on either they would find out on their own, which Kyle didn't doubt, or they would admit it themselves, but cuddling up close to his boyfriend was the thing that he was occupied with at the moment, he had told his parents that he was going to a sleepover and Eric's mom didn't seem to care about what they were doing, Kyle could feel that his feet were dangling off the end of Eric's childhood bed from how tall he was but he didn't really care, not when his front was pressed into Eric's back and his arm wrapped around Eric's hip from where they had fallen asleep cuddled in the same position having to press close due to the small width of the bed but any excuse to be this close is welcome to him.

~

Being able to run his hands through Kyles soft red curly hair without his hat is something that he is growing to adore, Kyle without his hat is rare at best and being fortunate enough to constantly see him with it tossed to one side makes him think that Kyle looks even more beautiful, it may sound so fucking soppy, Eric knows that, but it's true.

Eric had taken to putting Clyde frog on his dresser and he grew less and less noticing  
Of his absence from under his arm, he felt that he just didn't need that comfort anymore just like Kyle with his hat and they both felt that in each other's presence they didn't need their old safety blankets because they had each other.

 

Eric knew he had grown up, because instead of cuddling up to Clyde frog he now had someone a lot better to cuddle up to.

 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you if you read all the way through, let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave kudos if you enjoyed.
> 
> I hope you have an awesome day/night!


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